THE SLOPPENING
Netflix buying Warner Brothers proves attention always beats craft
The end state of the internet will be Netflix Co-CEO Ted Sarandos kicking down your front door with a large syringe held in each hand. As a primal scream tears from his lips, voice cracking with fiduciary duty, he will shove those needles directly into your eye sockets with all the strength his 5’9” frame can muster. He will pump, pump, pump a blackened goo, consisting of dopamine, AI-generated romances, and the blood of junior employees who dared to disagree with him, into your skull. The last thing you will see as your mind slowly turns into a calcified husk is Elon Musk and the entire cast of Stranger Things cackling as they divvy up your life savings.
As a Netflix shareholder, I will be wildly cheering for this outcome.
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