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Brian Elliott's avatar

I love this. As a kid of a single mom who was a working-class nurse, I definitely didn’t see myself in tech or doing anywhere near as well as I did.

For a number of years, it wasn’t clear that there was an “enough.”

I got smarter as I got older and got off the merry-go-round. An amazing spouse and great kids, who over time opened my eyes, were instrumental.

I’ve watched friends who could comfortably retire, or do something better for humanity with their time, strive for the second and third brass ring. Usually at the expense of relationships.

It’s not about “enough.”

Too often it’s about the comparison to others, which has gotten worse in Silicon Valley and in particular S.F. in my ~30 years here. The peers who did better than you after they left Google/Meta, the AI startup that makes your last startup’s amazing $20b exit look paltry. The private jet.

The fact that I sometimes refer to my current phase as “semi-retirement” is a running joke with my wife. I’m working (almost) as hard as ever, but I’ve been lucky enough along the way that I can aim the drive and energy I’ve got at causes I care about and do it with good people.

If you’re fortunate and have “Whole Foods” enough (or, better still in S.F. BiRite or Gus’s enough), find what gives you enough purpose. Enough friendship. Enough meaning. Enough joy.

David Fu's avatar

tl;dr Envy thy neighbor at thy own peril.

Being in the SF & now AI bubble warps everything. ‘What I am saying is that after you hit the point where “your basic needs are comfortably met” ‘ - the problem with this statement is that it is highly variable, and once you hit Whole Foods level of comfort you’re already well past the 1% of privileged on this planet. A status most people cannot even dream of.

It’s being able to have ambitions, goals, dreams yet being equally present and embracing where you are, whatever you have and being able to show up and contribute in community to something larger than yourself, to (as you say) sacrifice. And not succumbing to the disease of comparisons you’re making.

I think many people in much more humble contexts are able to reach this conclusion much better than we can despite not having much bc we’re surrounded by and warped by the various narratives of our physical and digital surroundings. (although even that’s diminishing bc the digital surroundings means everyone is getting bombarded by the wealthy, mega wealthy, ultra wealthy and wealthy wannabes)

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